The Scary Truth

I started this journey to help  others release their fears. Along the way I learned to let go of some of my own. I never would of written anything on this page if I didn’t let go of my fear of exposure. When I asked what people look for in a blog I was told one thing..AUTHENTICTY. Raw and open truth.

Well the reason I started Life Without Lines was to learn to release my own fears. I had alot of them. Fear controlled me. Hiding behind the ” I don’t like change” or “I’m okay” or “I’m doing alright” were the cop outs that I frequently used. I had a lot of fears. Since I started this I have been able to let go of a few. I’m a work in progress. My biggest fear was being open about myself.

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I was scared of the dark til I was 21. I had an imaginary friend until I was nine. Her name was Miranda. I never slept facing the wall. And the pillowcase had to be open on the left side. I never took the last swig of any bottle because I thought I would be swallowing all the dirt that settled to the bottom. I whispered in public in case I said something offensive. I stayed away from low cut shirts because I was scared I would expose myself. If I left the house alone at night I ALWAYS ran to my car. And MICE. Everything about them scared me…everything.

I never shared a fork. Never slept in the clothes I wore all day. I mean the list goes on forever. The bottom line is I was scared to live. Fear  made me come up with so many excuses. And excuses are just lies we tell ourselves to keep from progressing. Once I let go of my excuses alot of my fears went away.

That brings me to today. It’s scary to be open. Especially when other people’s judgement was also a big fear. Not anymore. Say what you want about my fears. They were lessons for me. If I didn’t get over them I wouldn’t be who I am. And YOU wouldn’t be reading this. I have started a new journey. One full of ups and downs. But any fears I face I will conquer. I’ll give them biggest gut punch and push them over a cliff. (Not suggested for actual people)

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For many years fear was my “friend”. The truth is it was my enemy. Friends don’t lie to you. They don’t hold you back. Or steal your joy. When I let go of fear I made new friends. They’re names are PEACE, STABILITY, AND SELF-LOVE. Feel free to claim them as your friends also.  I mean that’s what’s awarded to all of us. Now that truth should never scare you.

GO BE GREAT!

A Real Fairytale

In case you didn’t know or possibly live on the moon there was a pretty important wedding over the weekend. The youngest child of Prince Charles and Princess Diana married an American former actress.Love between the Monarchy and Americans has happened before. Small history lesson for you. The queen got her throne because her uncle wanted to chose love for his American divorcee over the throne.

One thing about this union was very important to me. She at one time was just an ordinary girl living an ordinary life in Crenshaw, California. She obviously had dreams. I mean she was an actress and appeared on many shows from a young age. She obviously put in work to get to be apart of a series on TV.

The criticism and judgement is also evident. It’s shows in the media from the time we heard they were dating. Is she worthy of him? Is she using him for a chance to be even more famous? Is she all about the spotlight or love?

I wish them the best no matter what. I kinda thought things would fall apart myself. I mean the media exposure her family members have gotten made it hard to not have some questions.

One thing  is forgotten in all this excitement. She was an ordinary girl chosen to live an extraordinary  life. She was chosen and she chose him. In the end she is able to live exceedingly and abundantly beyond her own expectation!

I mean people have to bow to her. She is a duchess! I don’t care what fantasy she had as a young girl playing in her room. She got to be a real Cinderella. I’m not hating. I’m appreciating.

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Listen. Harry was born into royalty. Meghan was working and doing what she knew she  wanted to do. And being pretty successful at it. Now look where she is.

Faith without works is dead. When you want something or ask God for it; we have to do our part. And while we wait just be grateful for the future outcome. God doesn’t mind the asking. He actually loves it. But in our patience we need to stay the course.

I tell you one thing I am happy for this union. I was impressed by the ceremony. I see the Monarchy changing, choir with natural hair, Bishops speaking about love, and a mixed race Duchess.

So instead of judging take a lesson from this. And that lesson is:

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

This weekend I made a decision to believe in all possibilities again. To live. To laugh. To be diligent in achieving my goals.

Remember we are all heirs to a Mighty throne already. Meghan kissed a Prince but all we have to do is trust and believe.

Now go be great!

No Regrets

We all have things we wish we never did. Mine was bangs. When you have curly hair that’s a real commitment. I know you may think I should probably say something way more Earth shattering but that’s the point of this. I have very little that I regret.

Okay so now I will explain myself. I know you may be thinking I’m lying but it’s true.

I believe having regrets means the experience had no value.

Think about it. I recently heard a story where a woman had a baby girl. A beautiful creation. A blessing from God. And she was happy. I mean this was a bundle of joy her. But as she looked at her pictures she wished she had more makeup on. I mean she truly regretted not prepping her face to look better on Instagram? Now you can’t’ tell me that is taking value from the situation. A child has been born and you wish you looked better.

I’m not judging this woman. I know that somewhere along the way it became okay to re-analyze every moment. That’s a form of dissatisfaction some of us have with our lives.

The problem is  we lose the big picture in those thoughts.

Let’s go back to that woman. Now is she going to tell her precious daughter that the future doesn’t matter and always try to change your past? Or never believe that  opportunities will never come until you change your past? Of course not. I mean I hope not.

The life I have lead was nowhere near perfect. I have had traumas, sickness, emotional abuse and battled with depression. So you would think I would have a bunch of regrets. I’ll tell you why I don’t.

My life didn’t happen TO me. I happened FOR me.

If you know me well you have heard me say this. I mean I was at one point even a hated person. I’m not proud of that. But I can tell I can relate to people that are angry and mean now (FOR ME) I used to party alot and stay up late. Lead to making friends with some bad people. People that I never should of trusted that treated me badly (TO ME). That makes it easier for me to recognize these people like this when it may not be obvious to those involved (FOR ME)

My experiences shaped my life. Defined my character and made me believe in my God given purpose. If I had regrets I would never of been able to type this blog.

Ephesians 4: 22 (AMP) says-That regarding your previous way of life , you put of your old self (completely discard your former nature) , which is  being corrupted through deceitful desires

We have to drop our old ways. We have take the lesson and never miss the value in the experience. It’s time to be ready for the next chance to prove that though it may not be easy….This life is worth living…WITHOUT LINES. Go break free from past experiences. Go relieve the guilt that you have from your past. Break free from the boundaries.

Now Go Be Great!

Trust Me

Let’s talk about trust. I have trusted a few people in my life that have let me down. I don’t regret it though. I understand the real reason they weren’t worthy of that trust anymore. I have been lied to, cheated, scammed and even made to believe someone was a total different person. It’s all hard to believe right?

Truth is that I have to remember that not everyone is worthy of trust. Trust is earned. Actions need to back up what you say. Unfortunately sometimes we forget that part. A heart of compassion will lead you to do things you feel are necessary. Like giving , sharing advice or even listening without judgement.

When you don’t have a heart of compassion you will do the opposite. You will take from others, purposely mislead , and never care to hear what others say. Sometimes even be the one that will sabotage the joy of others.

All of this may seem obvious. Unfortunately there is a vast majority that never pay attention or don’t know to look for these harmful actions. And once they find them walk  and/or run away.

Why? I mean if someone steals from you it’s time to move on right? How about if they make you believe something that is blatantly false? You’re supposed take caution to their words. I mean is it really that hard to  figure out?  For some …yes.

We are taught behaviors from birth. Things like eating, talking, and walking are natural progression. Taught threw consistent action. Some other things are taught subconsciously. Those things can last a lifetime if you let them.

Take this example: There is a meme out there of a horse tied to a lawn chair. The horse never tries to break free. Above it reads: Sometimes the chains that prevent us from being free are more mental than physical”

How does this tie together? We learn how to trust. We have examples set for us. What that example is depends on your own experience. I’m writing this because I want you live without boundaries. So are you ready to hear what I did to learn how to trust?

Here it goes..

 

Give yourself and those around you grace.

 

Just that simple. Actually it may not seem simple but that’s all it is. When you know the story behind their behavior it may make sense. What if you never know that story? Well that’s where grace comes in. It’s awarded to us and it’s our obligation to award it to others. Now that doesn’t mean it will come naturally at first. But think of it this way. God knew you were going to do some bad things or make some bad decision but still wanted to be there for you. Some of the disciples were some of the worst people you could think but still lead others to learn about God. And lastly Jesus died for you even though you were not perfect. How about this one..even if you were the only one on Earth NONE of that would change.

So trusting the wrong person happens. It happens and may even happen again. But it’s okay. Don’t let it take the wind out of sails. Keep going. The best way to get over it is to keep living. We have to. There’s too much life out here not being lived. Let’s not be those people. Give grace to others AND YOURSELF. We make mistakes. You are worth the continuing effort. Trust me.

Now go be great!

Changing Lanes

I talk a lot about journeys. Mainly because that’s what I believe life to be. The longest  journey we could ever take. No known destination with plenty of pit stops along the way.

Life is kinda like  a Google Maps app without all nearest restaurants and gas stations. I remember when I was younger all the road trips my family and I would take. We would load up in the van and drive. I liked the games we would play. “That’s my car” and ” How many state plates can you spot?” It wasn’t until I was older that I realized this was really a way for my parents to keep us occupied. So boredom wouldn’t set and the questions of how long we had to go wouldn’t be asked. Also kept us from fighting. Four kids and 2 hrs really could not of been an easy task.

Each time we make the same trips with the same stops along the way. We would get theses really great sandwiches from this cute little deli. And we got breakfast from the same off the highway restaurants. Never wavering from the regular destination.

One road trip we got lost. We were in the mountains of West Virginia. Lots of dips and sharp turns. Mountains that seemed impossible to navigate. My dad was driving. I remember being asleep and waking up to us making the most impossibly sharp turn on a side road. I was impressed  by his skills. The road was right along a mountain. On the side of the mountain was a house! Right smack in the middle. This sparked a conversation of course. How do they get to the front door? Does anybody live there? Where’s the driveway? Of course no one suggested getting out and asking.

That road was definitely off the beaten path. We went on for quite awhile before we even saw another  car. But once we made it back to the highway there was a sense of relief on my parents faces. I on the other hand thought it was cool to see what we saw. Kinda wished I knew how to get there now. Just so I can post it on Instagram. Ha!

The other day I was headed to a meeting. I took an alternate route to see if it saved me some time. I came across a sign that said STAY IN LANE. It actually offended me. How are you gonna tell me what to do? Im the one driving. You can’t dictate which way this is going to go. What if I don’t want to stay in my lane? So you know what happened next. I casually let my car drift off the left. As if the wind pushed it. And you know what happened. I actually ended up right where I needed to be. I had to make a left at the next street. Then it was a straight shot to my destination. Got there quicker and went a different way.

Life can be that way for you too. Do we need to follow what everyone else is being told to do? What if it’s not right for you. Your journey should be full of bumps and ditches. Potholes and seasonal construction. This life is given once. Even if you head down the same path sometimes it’s okay. We don’t have to stay in our own lane but hug every curve , twist, and turn.

Here’s to throwing out the road map, taking chances ,and figuring out how to get there while you drive. Now go be great!

 

 

 

The Best Pain Medicine

The last time  I saw my sister alive was close to a year ago. It was around this time that I my father had a heart attack. It was a day that would change everything for me. Traumatic experiences are not unknown in my life. I’ve had quite a few. Unfortunately.

My sister’s death was unexpected and sudden. She was here one day and then gone. We didn’t have a close relationship. We differed in opinion and tended to bump heads. Not that we didn’t have good times. She was my sister. I like to say we had a typical sister relationship. We just didn’t know what to do after the conflicts we had. Kinda left each other alone until it blew over. Or it was time for another family get together.

When I saw her on life support it all became very clear to me. We all have a purpose. We all have things that happen to us for a great reason. You just have to believe that to be true. She was a mother,daughter and sister. She served that purpose the best way she knew how. I also found out that she was doing alot to maintain that purpose. I was proud of her. We didn’t share much time together. But in a few days I was able to see how she was living all this time.

She was definitely suffering in her last days. But pushed through it. Never complaining. At least not to anyone’s knowledge. I believe when she was passing on she had a peace about it. A peace about her life.

I faced trauma. I have seen death. I don’t wear my experiences like a necklace. I don’t talk much about them because it’s not my daily story. It’s okay if you don’t do the same. I’m writing this to tell you .

..THESE THINGS DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN TO YOU, THEY HAPPENED FOR YOU.

I’m able to move on. I am also able to tell my story to others to help them. When someone near me has these same situations I am able to truthfully say”I know how you feel, I get it, Yep me too” What a great gift to be blessed with. God gave me peace in each situation. And that is what I learned. Trials will come. But they also go as quickly as they come. If you rely on the peace God has for you in the midst of it.

So the next time that stress tries to take over you. Look for Him. He’s the deep breath, the tears drying up, the tension releasing , the warm settling calmness on the inside. He’s that stranger that comes along to give an expected hug. He’s there all the time, just for you. Remembering that has made it possible for me to be okay. You will be too. That’s not my promise, that’s God’s promise for you.

Now go be great!

 

 

 

Road Warrior

Life can be difficult. That’s a given. How we deal with the difficulties aren’t always the same or easy to figure out. I had a conversation today about this very thing. The choices we make can mold our entire lives. FOREVER! Hard to fathom how a simple “yes” or “no” can form the ripple of events to either benefit or harm you.

Lots of times those choices are influenced by our subconscious mind. The deep well within us that makes us comfortable with the way we are. I learned recently that the things we tell ourselves from birth can be automatically replayed until death. If you were told you were unworthy of good things or a good life you will believe that until you make the decision not to.

Some are reading this and saying that it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. But how well do we understand that power?

Think of a smoker. They choose to light up a cigarette and breath in and out toxic fumes. Daily they reach in their pocket or purse and light up. But have you ever watched this action? They don’t always look at what they’re doing. I saw a man light up while mounting a bike. Rode off without ever taking his eyes off the road. His subconscious was trained to make those motions to get the gratification he was looking for. So trained that he didn’t even need to watch what he was doing.

Think about this. How many times have you driven to a place and not really remember how you got there. You were driving but not paying attention and suddenly your at the destination. Scary but not enough to want to get back in the car and try it again.

That’s because your subconscious has taken the wheel. It drove to that place because you always go there. When we don’t know the way we obviously pay more attention.

The trick is you have to go the way you don’t know if u want the life you’ve never lived. You can’t climb the same staircase or walk the same path over and over. It will always lead to the same place.

Take the time today to try a different path. Step out on a different landing. Make a different choice. It may not work out and you may have to start over. But isn’t that reason for living life without lines? No boundaries. No fears or worries.

Because just like the old journey…you will reach your destination. Only this time your free to like it or not.

Now go be great.

My I-Problem

To whom it may Concern,

I quit.

I quit lying. I quit trying to conform. I quit making excuses. I quit not taking chances. I quit believing I can’t. I quit trying to control others. I quit being scared. I quit doing things I don’t want to. I quit taking advice I would never follow.

I quit trying to be someone I’m not. I quit taking what I don’t want. I quit not building relationships. I quit taking jobs I don’t want. I quit believing I have to. I quit comparing myself to others. I quit stealing my own joy. I quit not believing. I quit building on poor foundation. I quit thinking it will never change. I quit trying to follow.

I quit sitting around. I quit being quiet. I quit lowering my expectations. I quit giving away my power. I quit striving for perfection. I quit staying in a corner. I quit thinking I won’t have enough. I quit thinking that I’m not enough. I quit overthinking.  I quit quitting on myself.

I QUIT!!

Please accept this as my letter of resignation. Although I have enjoyed tolerated been here for years; I must now move on. I have accepted a new life and will be moving on post haste. It has been quite the experience. I take with me a number of lessons learned. But the need to quit was greater than the need to stay.

Thank you for your time,

Now I will go be great.

Sincerely,

Melissa

 

Trash to Treasure

I have a lot of hidden talents. I’m not bragging. Just like to try new things. YOUTUBE has been a great way to learn just about everything. About 4 yrs ago I decided I wanted to stop buying the crochet hats from the store. Saving money was the motive. So I got some yarn and hooks then looked up how to crotchet. After about an hour I was on my way to making a hat.

After a few weeks I had some failed projects and a few great finishes. I learned how to make beanies, scarfs, and potholders. By the month’s end I had a box full of failed attempts I decided to get rid of them.

I made a few hats that were supposed to bigger than they turned out to be. Not anything I would wear. Or anything I would give away. One of them was unfinished. Strings were hanging from it. There was a small hole in it. I changed patterns midway through. I really didn’t like it. Thought it was ugly. It put all my failed attempts in a bag for the garbage. I gave the bag to my son and had him throw it out. He took one out because he thought it would be nice one to give away. I didn’t agree. But I did humor him and place it in the bag of old clothes I took to Salvation Army later that day.

It was my intention to take it out before I made it to the store. Of course I forgot. I didn’t worry about it. I figured the people would see it and throw it away anyway. It was unfinished and had a small hole in it. Who would want that?

Fast forward to 6 months ago.

Made the decision to change my life direction. I gave up a lot in the process. I don’t regret it. Wouldn’t change that decision if I had the chance.  Part of those changes involved my place of employment. I love the new opportunity. Two weeks in I had the most interesting thing happen. A man walks in and has this horrible hat on his head. It was red with a string hanging. Way too small for his head and the pattern changed half way through. Yes. He was wearing my hat. It had been 4 yrs now since I saw that thing. I was amazed. He wore it proudly. Said it had “character” and kept his head really warm.

How many times had he worn that hat? I have no idea. The fact that he was proud of it made me think of something.

 

Sometimes the small seemingly insignificant things we do could be huge to someone else.

I was convinced that hat meant as little to others as it did to me. I never thought I would see it again. But God had other plans. He knew before I did that I was wrong. Then one day right when I needed to see it; the impact of  the”small” things I’ve done were revealed to me.

Some of us never get to experience our impact. Some of us never get to see how our lives can touch the lives of others. The fact is sometimes you don’t need to see it every time. Just live intentionally. Know that if it’s on your heart to do it. It’s time to make it happen.

That hat never saw the garbage can I thought it deserved. It was a gift to someone else. a TREASURE. To live a life without lines you have to remember that. Fear should never stop you. The fear of ridicule, being alone,or standing out may come. You have to do it anyway. You aren’t trash. You are a  treasure! And every thread was fearlessly and wonderfully made.

Now go be great!

 

B.R.E.A.T.H

The last three months have absolutely been a tailspin. I saw and did things that I hope to not ever have to do again. But I know I probably will. The only thing we can’t avoid I witnessed. My dear older sister passed away. It was unexpected and heart wrenching. I saw her hooked up to tubes and watched as doctors and nurses tried their best to save her. Having someone tell you that there may be nothing left to do is what I hope to not have to hear again. But I sure did feel that way alot lately.

When I did all I could to keep the job  I had. Even though it was very clear to me that it was not fulfilling  my life’s purpose; I stayed until “there was nothing left to do”

When I needed to fix my car because of years of driving and traveling. I drove that bad boy on three bald tires and questionable brakes. Until “there was nothing left to do”

When I decided to start taking better care of myself. I watched every video. Tried every meal plan. “Until there was nothing else I wanted to” (same concept)

When I decided I didn’t want to build relationships the same way. I kept trying on my own and failing. I knew there had to be a way to do this. I kept at it “until there was nothing left to do” but give in and get help.

That’s where you find me now. I cleaned my slate.

I got a new job. And I work for a company that values you. Sees you as an important piece to the puzzle. And the food days…I mean I can’t go there. Would take too long. I decided to start loving the body I have. Made me see myself for the first time as other people see me. If I can’t love me then who will I LET love me. (Let that marinate.) I bought a new car. The one I wanted for years. Drives like a dream. I hooked up with an amazing group of mentors. Through the teachings I found God’s plan for my life. I also was able to build relationships with strangers. Strangers that have become sisters by God. I had a foundation built on quick sand. I was sinking. I needed to start over.  I connected with the right people and started making progress.

I was devastated by my sister’s death. But I was able to cope and deal because I knew her. I grew up with her and she knew God. I know she’s in a much better place cheering us on. But I also know there are things she never got to do. Places she never went. Experiences she never had. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t live. She did. “Until there was nothing left to do”

 We have to not be afraid to move on or give up. Nothing is working. Let go. No need to keep trying sometimes. Sometimes there really is nothing…left…to do. After you let go ..breath. It’s just part of the process. Not everything or everyone succeeds at the everything. You have a purpose. And all the time in the world to figure it out.

B.R.E.A.T.H.

B=BE                                           

R= REAL

E= EXCITED

A= AND

T=TRULY

H=HAPPY

Life will through you curve balls. We can let that stop us OR decide to get on with the purpose. Just like I was able to walk away from so many things. So can you. When it’s time to let go. Do it. Just do it. The seasons of life change rapidly sometimes. Be okay with that and B.R.E.A.T.H…until there’s nothing left to do.

Now go be great.

Melissa 🙂